Thursday, May 19, 2011

my babies.

Me as a first time momma at the age of 18 yrs old.
Me 14 yrs later becoming a new momma all over again.

Fourteen years later?! 
People ask me all the time why did you have a baby when your almost done?
HA! Almost done? Seriously do they just think that when the child turns 18 you are no longer a mom? No longer a parent?
And I did not choice this gap in years. I struggled. 
Emotionally, mentally, physically. 
My relationship with my husband was challenged. 
My relationship with god was tested.
I felt alone.
It was as though no one understood at all. 
I found a group online that struggled just like me. 
Had the same symptoms as me
Did the same treatments as me.
And for years these woman were the only people that understood me.
Understood my anger.
My sadness.
My fears.
My pain.
They to had all the same emotions. 

I love being a mother.
And as my oldest starts to spread her wings more and prepare to leave the nest, I'm sad. Granted I have 2 years. But that will go by so fast!!
I will miss her.

She is my first born. My first miracle baby.
She and I grew up together.
She is my little girl!
Mom loves you Maddie girl! 


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